鴨爐

FUCK !

I really unhappy ,I'd like to drink some wine with some guy right now !

and ~~if I can't type the word by Chinese , so ~~ how about English !

I really angery for several days
maybe , several months is more correction (how about two?)

Today , I saw the movie "sex city"
the carrie had say one word to Miranda :" after you made an apology to me for three days , even how I angery to , I'll forgive you , it's just call forgiveness."

Then , I thought , if someone never say sorry to me , how can I forgiven?

after these few days , I always think about that .

is that friendship worth ?
even it cost seventeen years ?

well , the honestly , I really think about that .
but , day after day , I become more and more angery .

I wonder , what's mean for the " friend " ?

no aplolgy ? think the friends will alway forgive you ?
have a right to couse you ? to push you into a hole ?
no necessarily to care about other people's emotion ? even the friend ~~~of course the friend !
pretend everything is ok , even you are so angery ?
no manners with your family ? and don't care about what she done in your parents house ?
and when you told to her in seriousness , she think you are to use abusive language at her ?

WELL~~~I'm so confuse.......how about friend ?

in my mind , the friend means if you get trouble , she will come out to you , to protect you , to care about what you thought , what you done
and not too over .

but , after these few days , I know I'm wrong .

my parents ask me : it's that worth ?
I say YES !

my heart is getting cold, after these few days .

day by day , I'm getting hate to meet her .
it looks like air in my eye .
I don't wanna seem her , don't wanna be with her .

I know she wanna talk to me , but I protend not to see that!
I'm afraid I'll yell to her , it's not the thing I like .

even now , I still don't hear any word about sorry from her mouth.
so , what can I do ?
protend everything is allright ?

NO
I can't do that .

today , the list that go to shan-san is without me . I'm glad about that
I have told to God , I won't go to any place that need to get up early .
but , the list has her name .
I smile coldly , and I'll see how can she arrive the temple at 7AM without me !

I have told her , I won't let her into my house , so she got by her own !

maybe one day , I'll let that bad emotion go .
but not right now .

even our friend already remind her , but she think that just fine .

well ~~that will be fine !

in my mind , the last thought is ~~ if she aplolgy to me , I'll not forgive her
because it's too late !

now
I have become more and more hate to the temple .
my father say , if that will make me feel bad , then I should not go to that temple again .
I'm thinking about that seriously .

but right now , I won't do that . until I can't take anymore .
I won't talk , no smile to everyone in the temple . and I think everyone has feel about that .
actually~~~I feel pressure about go to that place .

maybe~~maybe one day , I can let that emotion go ~~~ not now.
and I hope that emotion can leave away from me as soon as possible !

now , no one can drink with me , so I have go to sleep
and I hope that emotion won't happen again in last weekend .
I hope so ..............